He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
