We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
