PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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