We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
