Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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