I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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