PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
