I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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