yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
