Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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