So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Let the clothes fall where they may.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
