Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Pants are for mortals
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
