3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
not ubering you a puppy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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