I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
