we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
