I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
