Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
