I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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