Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
