Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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