i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
