Please, let me fuck your mom
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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