found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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