And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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