He kissed a someone with a penis
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's the barista slut.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
