garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
