So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
