Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
