I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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