There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
