Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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