It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
