Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
