Don't make out with my wife yet
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
