I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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