I didn't shave. On purpose
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize