It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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