If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize