While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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