I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
soo... how was my night?
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