I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
