Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
