I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
