drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize