I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
