he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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