You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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