he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize