and i looked up. we had an audience...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize