Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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