No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
