she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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