i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sobbing to NWA
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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