I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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