Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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