addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
