You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
