i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
