He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
