the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
