i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
