She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
