Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
