i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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