He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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