I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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