So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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