So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
