mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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