he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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