i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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