Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
