Small penises have feelings too.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
