I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I want her autograph on my taint
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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