it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
